How long should one wait before dating again

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Maybe I should be medicated. I was talking to my hairdresser and comparing notes on bad dates. She and I both came to the same conclusion — because we waited too long, dating is harder and the thought of letting someone into our lives makes us a little twitchy. Wait long enough to grieve and get your act together, then jump right in before you become a bitter old cat lady like me. I have a Guinea pig who eats nonstop though. However, if you wait too long, some things happen that make dating more difficult.

You get comfortable being alone After some time, you start to enjoy the freedom that comes with being on your own. Keep Reading Next Article. Videos You May Like. Content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or health, safety, legal or financial advice. Click here for additional information. I realized how stubborn I was being and unblocked him and apologized. I tried to meet up with him to talk and basically had to cry on the phone to get him to even meet me. We ended up crying and talking hooking up.

That we fight too much but that he loves me. He stayed the night. After that he went back to the aloof occasional texts. I felt really pathetic and sad. He wrote back that he agreed and I was an amazing woman and he already missed me. He watches my snap chats but I have him blocked on everything else. I miss him so much. It worked last time but will it work a second time? You might have missed the point of NC the previous time which beyond giving both parties space, was also for you to work on yourself and your emotions to become a better version of your previous self.

It would seem that after NC had ended the first time, you reverted back to your old habits the moment an argument took place and ended up blocking him again which might have been the cause of him emotionally giving up the second time. NC may not be the best idea here because he may simply decide to walk away this time around. Instead, consider perhaps taking things slow, and work on rebuilding the trust and bond that you once shared with him as a couple without getting too impulsive with your emotions.

I just have him blocked on insta and Facebook. I guess I should have just left things alone and seen how they went. He was messaging me everyday. It was just so aloof and would take him hours to respond. He was always the first to message tho but it felt like it was almost a chore. Not like he enjoyed talking to me. I was trying to be unemotional and fine but I felt like it was getting nowhere.

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. During the first 3 weeks he was contacting me a lot and I asked him stop for a month or 2 so I could focus on myself. I am now in a better place and would like to reach back out to him. I'm just not sure if I should initiate contact or have him initiate it? Hi, I had relationship with my gf for 3 yrs. Me and my gf started to have a bad phase from may last week.

She wanted to space from me. I was not able to give her that. I continuously chased her for almost 3 months now. She is not trusting my words now. She has unfriend me from fb. I have reached her out after every 5 or 7 days on and off. I am in miserable situation. Can i still have a chance to rekindle with her?

What duration of no contact is required in this case? Will she ever miss me? It would be good to probably go into no contact for the time being in order to at least give him some space to deal with his issues while you deal with yours. It's been a month since I ended a three months long relationship with this guy. It happened because, when I confessed my feelings for him and asked about being exclusive, he told me he had feelings for me too, but he wasn't prepared for an exclusive relationship at the moment, and that if there was anything bothering me, we could try to talk about it and work things out.

At first, I considered continuing the relationship, but then I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be with anybody else but him, and that I was trying to adapt to him, not because I thought it would be best for me, but to keep him by my side. So that's why I ended things. Now, I'm having second thoughts. I'm thinking that maybe I was too inflexible, too strict, because I didn't accept polygamy. He'd suggested to talk about what bothered me and figure it out together, and I'd, on the other hand, "gave up".

That's how I feel about breaking up with him. I've been avoiding contact with him, unfollowed him on Instagram, deleted our Whatsapp conversations and photos of him on my phone. I've been focusing on myself, reading a lot, writing about my feelings, going out with friends. But I still miss him and want him back. He still orbits on my Instagram, watches all of my stories, likes some photos I'd contacted him two times only, just to send memes, and he'd responded right away, tried to keep the conversation going I want to know if he misses me and if he feels the same.

I don't know if I should say hi, ask him out, try to reconnect with him and work things out together, or if I'm illuding myself and should move on because of our incompatibility. It doesn't sound like you were incompatible as a couple, but simply just looking for different things at this point. Never forget to respect and love yourself, as well as your own moral values. If polygamy isn't something you're comfortable with, don't try to change your way of thinking just to fit his because it isn't something permanent. Based on what you're saying, it does sound like he misses you and shares certain feelings for you.

To what extent is yet to be determined, but if you genuinely miss him, perhaps consider reaching out properly to reconnect. My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 3 years and had lived together for over two. Everything was going really well and we were planning trips and getting along well, or so I thought. Then he broke up with me. He told me he needed space and time to focus on school, work, and family. He still loves me. Do I follow the plan still? This depends entirely on you and what you're able to take emotionally. Waiting can be a painful thing to go through and is honestly much harder than simply moving on.

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I would recommend moving on first, but if the opportunity should present itself in the future and you still have strong feelings for him, then you could consider giving it a second shot. My girlfriend broke up with me 4 days ago now and I started doing no contact immediatley after the breakup. I just keep feeling like when the no contact is over and I finally text her again, she will be confused as to why i just ignored her for a month.

I really want her back. Sorry if this is too long. I entered the no contact time a few days ago and intent on going 30 days. But when I looked at the calendar I realized my ex's birthday is 20 days in. Would wishing her happy birthday hurt things? Honestly, it wouldn't make much of a difference whether you wish her or not since you've both broken up.

I would personally not recommend wishing her, but if you genuinely feel the need to, keep it short and simple, avoid getting emotional in the process, and simply carry on with no contact after sending her a text. My Ex and I have ended things after 5 years of being together. Pur relationship has not always been great but it has been good enough for me that we been together for 5 years. I started noticing a change in him. He stopped taking an interest, stopped wanting to do one on one things with me and took more of a interest in his friends in stead.

So I ended things thinking it would open his eyes and shed some light onto him, we built a life together a house we have 2 dogs. He didnt change instead he stayed away and took off more in the opposite direction. But He still tells me he loves me and space will give us perspective. I did make the mistake like in the article of begging and telling him how I wanted to work things out and try, even though I have been trying for what seems to be a long time. He hasnt shown any effort He told me no. He said not to make any rash decisions I feel like hes leading me on.

Or keeping me at arms length to see if I'm always gonna be there. I love him more than anything but he hasnt been present It's been super hard, and it's like hes not accepting it. He keeps texting me things like I miss you and that he wants us to be together but he doesnt think things will change. Or he says things like I love you, we just need to be in love and time will tell He also once said. I'm worried hes gonna take that as I have moved on and hes going to want to move out and move on I'm trying not to go crazy but it's so hard.

Be honest with your feelings and tell him about it, especially how you've been struggling lately because you don't see it going anywhere and 'just being in love and seeing where it takes us' without any actual actions is hard to swallow. About 8 months ago she had broken up with me and moved away with her parents only to end up back with me a couple months later. We recently made a big move out of state to start fresh with a clean slate. The first year of our relationship had its ups and downs, she cheated a few times but we always got through it and moved forward.

She decided enough was enough and decided to leave me and move in with a coworker. As of yesterday she came and picked up all her belongings and went on her way. After putting everything she brought up with her in the vehicle she said thank you and went on her way. I do in fact want her back , as I did the first time. I feel like an idiot for being the way I was and miss her terribly. Her coworker has messaged since telling me to give her time, give her space so we can put ourselves back together. If the relationship was a meaningful one, yes you should give her a bit of space to cool off from whatever pent up negative emotions she feels before trying to reach out.

In the meantime, you should also go ahead with picking yourself up and working on the emotional aspect of things to learn how to keep them in check and not let yourself develop toxic habits while in a relationship. Reason for it is because she misunderstood what I wanted out of a situation that occurred a couple days before, which was to see me more as a priority when communicating with me on things we plan.

Nothing major I believe, but I have a terrible way of trying to speak my mind and she felt like I was unhappy being with her so she felt like I deserve someone better to give me more, when I didn't want more from someone else.


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I wanted her to understand how much I loved her and just seek more effort from her. Well she wanted her space and Thursday morning I texted her a long message speaking my peace about how she misunderstood what I was telling her. Since then, I have not been in contact with her, although we are still friends on social media. I feel if she really wanted to move on, wouldn't she deleted me or blocked me from all that? She did that to her exes, which I think played a role in her decision because she was always the one who got played a fool by them, they disrespected her, cheated on her, been unfaithful and straight unloyal.

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I have always been the one guy she could depend her life on, I never cheated on her, never gave her reasons to doubt our relationship. We been together for over a year and a half. Anything she needed, I was there for her all the way. Always tried to keep her happy, always gave her the space when she wasnt in the mood to talk. It just bothers me that she wanna break up over one little issue.

I love her still and think about her every single day.

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I wanna just text her I miss her but I feel the more I try to stay in contact will do no good so I been focusing on myself since that day. How long u think should I wait to tell her I still miss her? Or should wait til she texts me? There's a likelihood that her actions of breaking up and shutting you out were caused by past baggage from previous relationships that she has not dealt with.

You should go into NC for the time being and even when you contact her again, it shouldn't begin with you missing her since that shows signs of desperation and weakness in which she may not fully respect you. I broke up with my gf last april Reason is i got confused if my feelengs were still romantic or not. But we've been living together up until May When the move out was nearing. I asked if she could take me back. Saying that I was late and all. She had a deadline that I didnt know of. While she was waiting for me, she had a coworker that always messaged her everyday. But now they dont.

She got interested in the guy while waiting for me. Now Im afraid that there is a posibility that the coworker also likes her back. It started when their officemates started teasing them since they were "single". When we moved out. I always saw her, even if we were technically not a couple while living together. It was stupid and selfish of me. I acted needy for the past two months and now I decided to lessen my contact with her.

She's been cold towards me through chats but when we're together, things seemed natural. She always pushes me away. Saying that we have no chance, shes not coming back and all. But I really believe that theres still a chance. That she's just more on welcoming the giddy feeling with her coworkwr since its a positive feeling. Im scared of doing no contact at well Im afraid of losing her. Currently, if you continue to contact her and attempt to get her to take you back, you're most probably going to succeed in only pushing her further away since her feelings towards you are still relatively negative.

It'll be better to go into NC and give it some breathing room, even if she ends up dating the other person in the meantime because that's the only way you generate enough distance for her to let go of her negative emotions towards you. Before breaking up my ex had already been using the no contact rule for a month and now that we broke up I've been missing her so much.

I guess it's working that she wants the freedom of herself. It was a long story and we broke up on good terms however it just makes me so sad. I would like to know how and what should I do facing an already implemented no contact rule? Probably the best thing you can do right now is to go into no contact yourself, and focus on improving aspects of your life that may have required changes.

At least this keeps you occupied and distracted as well, while letting time pass for both parties to be able to start on a fresh page when the time comes. My ex girlfriend just broke up with me. Been together for 15 months. I just sent her roses and she said this will be the last thing she will receive from me and we should stop seeing each other as her feeling has faded. I did not put attention to her for the past months because my mom was ill, she left us 3 months ago.

She told me that her feeling started to fade since 5 months ago and she decided to tell me now that she got no more feeling. Given how she feels and considering the time that she started losing feelings for you, there is a possibility that she has genuinely moved on, and you might want to consider doing the same and not wasting your time and emotions any further because she doesn't seem interested in getting back or even giving things another shot. Hi, my 2 months ex bf and I were getting a long well until some problems began to come up between us the second month, but we still could survive.

He also made sure to call me and stay always in touch, this is until he called me sometime and i asked him for a more serious commitment between us, he disappeared, went on a previously planned trip for 3 weeks without even calling me saying goodbye. If the relationship had lasted for 2 months before the breakup and him disappearing on his trip, you might want to consider the fact that effort you put in to try and win him back may be a waste of time because there's a possibility that he has moved on since the breakup.

In short relationships, it is easier for one party to distance themselves and move on since there hasn't been enough time to become fully invested into it. Hello, I am 27 and my ex is also 27 we broke up about 3 weeks ago. Would that be the right thing to do? He could be a bit prideful and not be the one to come look for me , most of my friends tell me to just move on and forget him and that if he did care or loved me he would be the one coming after me.

If you felt unsatisfied with the way he was treating you then, which led to the relationship ending, by you taking the first step to reach out to him, don't you think that the situation would remain the same even if you succeeded in getting him back and he'd still take you for granted after? Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't.

It's really subjective to each relationship, and would depend on how the relationship ended and how things were handled after. My girlfriend and I got into an argument and broke up.


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I was ok for about week and then I got drunk and acted like an idiot. All the things you aren't supposed to do I did to try and get back with her. Her last text to me was that even though we aren't together we should still care for each other. Then she proceeded to give me caring advice. I've never replied to that and have been in no contact for a week. I also found out she went on dating sites just two weeks after we broke up. To be honest I'm not even sure if I want to contact her even after no contact, but I do want to get her back.

Spend this time figuring things out, and although older women may be more understanding, they are usually also more decisive and certain of their actions, and less likely to waste time contemplating or moping around. This was my first relationship and I'm My ex broke up with me a month ago and since I had read up on non neediness before, I was able to instinctually know that calling them and asking to get back together wasn't a good idea, but it was still devastating ofcourse. She's naturally really shy and had issues with her self esteem and I wasn't supportive of her enough and would joke around by roasting her since she would be really quiet when she was around me and I wanted to get her attention.

And when I roasted her, it would sometimes be about her insecurities and she would feel upset about it but not say anything. Now looking back, I know that the reason I was like this was because of my fear of being needy. When we texted, I always felt the need to joke and roast her instead of treating her with support and compassion. But all of this built up and one day she asked to go on a break. When I confronted her about it a few days later she sent me a break up text. It's been a month or so and we've talked a few times during class and through text.

Her mom even texted me to check up on me and give me advice. She wanted me to treat her like a friend and be compassionate and wait for her to commit saying that she's not ready for a relationship yet. She really does want to be friends and said that she cared about me when we broke up. And I know about no contact and did that for awhile but we would see each other during class. The last day of school was the first time that we were having fun together, we talked and played a card game while making fun of each other, but after that we still don't text or hang out.


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  6. I know that I should spend more time to work on myself, which I have, but some part of the day my mind would always go back to thinking about her. Yesturday I decided to break no contact cause I felt like I was better and asked her if she wanted to hang out while being very understanding in my delivery, but she had something else that day and the conversation ended there. Honestly, I just want to know what you're perspective is and what you think is the best approach because I understand that this is still my situation that I want to overcome.

    Since you've attempted to break no contact and it did not turn out entirely well considering that trying to meet up wasn't successful , I would suggest waiting for another week or two before contacting her again directly if you want to ask her out. However, if you do see her around in school still, you could always maintain a friendly relationship and try to work your way from there in a casual and progressive manner. Just about to move in together into a house I renovated which took far, far too long, drained me completely and brought out my worst, undecisive, sometimes helpless, social-life-abandoning and in the end even almost sexless self , my long time girlfriend told me she didn't love me any more, even though she wants to.

    Miiiight be loss of attraction. That was around christmas. Since then, we had contact and met quite some times, but did not get anwhere. She often did not reply to my texts for days and appeared like a different person, thinks about maybe being burnt out I did a lot of research on relationships and what went wrong with ours. Monday last week we had quite a lovely picnic where I was to tell her about my findings which we did not get to discuss completely, making me eager to meet again.

    Some unanswered texts later quite the habit now - a contact a week, then radio silence, even with kind oneliners asking about her sore throat or her injured horses she declined an invitation. Mondays, I asked her to go to spring vacation with me to relax because of her lack of energy. No answer until just now: She had a very bad week, thinks again she may be burnt out.

    She is going to vacation with a male friend back from university she used to mention back then. Third text half an hour later: Her horse is injured. Obviously, I should have looked for this site earlier on, I surely did act needy and insecure from time to time, even though I always tried to keep my texts light and witty. I tried to keep the going crazy to myself. But about that text: Before, I was about to start that No Contact phase, but now I wonder, having replied instantly until now and being eager for her to know she can always count on me, if it wouldn't be smarter to text her back tomorrow or sunday and then start the No Contact phase, to at least send her off with solely good thoughts and things to say about me on that trip.

    Especially when she's not feeling well right now, I feel I should be there for her and make her feel better. That ain't the addiction talking, is it? The 'urge' to be there for the person you care about will often come across as being necessary in your point of view, but to be honest, that will only add to your image of being needy or desperate to your ex, especially if she has begun to distance herself which usually means she isn't as receptive to your 'thoughtful' actions. I would suggest beginning no contact but if you're concerned about stopping all contact so suddenly, perhaps since she has said that she was unwell, you could tell her to take good care of herself and enjoy the upcoming trip.

    Leave it at that, and go onto no contact after. Hello, me and my ex dated for 3 years, we broke up because he was so busy and he believed we would be happier seperated because at the point, I would be angry with him almost all the time for not giving me the attention I wanted. When we broke up, I regretted the way I acted right away and would text him and call him all the time.

    I was acting needy and desperate and he would listen and say he loved me still but that I was also pushing him away. My insecurities got the best of me and I feel awful for doing that to him, in the end, we realized it was toxic and nothing good was coming from it.. If they are still dating at this point, even if you felt that there were ways to work things out, he may not be as interested at this point to consider it.

    You definitely still have a slight chance to win him back, but I would suggest moving on for now and working on yourself in the meantime. If the opportunity ever presents itself again and you're still interested, then you could consider contacting him again. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were in a long distance relationship for 1yr 5months. I was the one doing all the travelling to him because he has a legal issue going on. I visited him in August with my son and spend 2 weeks with him. Everything thing was fine When I was on my vacation with him.

    When I try asking why is alll of this happening, he said the distance is getting to him, and he feels like talking to someone closer. I met his mom, brother n sister and he met my mom and aunt. I asked myself why would he go all the way for me to meet his family and dump me this way. I really love this guy. My ex bf Mickey and I had been dating for about 13 years and a half including engaged for 2 yrs. We were childhood best friends and sweethearts.

    We shared a lot of nice and unforgettable memories together, we went trips, we were everything when we had each other He loves me so much too, he valued me like a queen. But we always fought for my jealous type. But about one year ago he started to date other girls behind my back and we fought a lot when I found out. He gave me a reason that So he couldn't make it anymore and we broke up. He then dates a girl only one month later after our break up. They stick together and post photos of them together on facebook always, it hurts me I dunno it's rebound or not but they r still together, dating and going trips together and he brings her to his home to meet with his parents.

    He shoved me away. So I stopped all the contacts coz he asked me to. I was mentally broken down for about a year after the break up. I wasn't ready to move on and find another guy. I was concerntrating on my work. But I was about to flirt with my senior manager guy who is older than me and he's married already. His name is Peter, He always appraised for my beauty and intelligence.

    But when my parents found out, they reprimanded me badly for flirting with a married guy. I avoid him and then met a guy named Nick who has a gf already, he's 33 and I m He likes me but he doesn't dare to start bcoz he's only Sales Executive and he thinks himslef as he's much lower than me. Coz I graduated from famous UK university and he's just graduted from like community college But when I told him that I liked him And he said he's not sure about his current relationship too.

    And now we r like that. I m not sure i like Nick actually, or I want him as a rebound. He also cannot trust me either he may think. He wants to wait and see I want to replace him with my ex Mickey. Coz I still have strong feelings for my Ex Mickey so strongly. What should I do?.

    I always want my Mickey back.. I cry every night till now. I think you should only figure out first what it is you want, whether it is to try and move on, or to continue wanting your ex back. If the decision is to try and move on, you could slowly explore things with this new person provided he intends to break up with his girlfriend soon , and decide again from there based on your emotions.

    Take things slow and avoid rushing your emotions if they are not ready. So my girlfriend and I have dated for 9 months before we broke up. We broke up for almost a month now but I was so needy and disparate that i was trying to contact and seeing her everyday. The reasons why we broke up were I did not give her enough space, I was so selfish, I shouted at her and we have arguments in front of others a lot. Because I Love her so much that i could not show her how strong I am in front of her. I just texted her again this Wednesday which I actually I do not suppose to do so. So should my NC start over again from today.

    Right now I am getting better and changing my habit. I am changing myself and do not even touch an alcohol again because of her. I am willing to change for her and I am doing it everyday. I started to enjoy myself like she does with her friends right now. But actually I still want her back but I don't do the needy thing anymore. I just give her some more space before i am ready to meet up with her. What should i do next? Please give me some advices.

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    You don't have to restart your NC process, but instead just take what happened as a minor setback. It's good that you've progressed to not being so needy which is essential in your chances because you're less likely to make mistakes or come across as desperate. Hello, my ex boyfriend recently dumped me after being together for 3 years.

    We had been having some problems with communicating but nothing big, it came out of nowhere. We were both very emotional, and both of us sobbed before I asked him to leave. He told me he wanted me to be okay and that I needed to move on could he really hav meant this? He and my mom are very close so after the breakup he met with her and apparently had been carrying some anger and resentment from a year ago.

    In the relationship we both became codependent, selfish, and at times we could be disrespectful to one another.

    It could be that he may have initially lost the passion towards you, but subsequent realizations of the reality of the breakup started to confuse him instead. I suggest giving him some space for now, and perhaps consider No Contact in the mean time to at least allow both parties to heal and work on yourselves, while figuring things out. If his feelings for you a sincere, he may decide that he still wants the relationship at the end of the day but if not, you could always consider trying to win him back. Hi, so I desperately need some help.

    So I dated my ex boyfriend for two years now. We had an amazing first year and while he took some time to take a leave of absence at home from college we started to fight. I became really controlling to him and would be jealous when he was out with friends and stuff. He went back to a school this second semester and we were okay. Fought a lot though abt little things I picked on.

    We also had a lot of amazing memories we shared by going to unique places together. He was the first person to show me what love actually means. I had recently not been able to visit him in our long distance relationship due to car accidents and lacrosse commitments. This caused a lot more stress and best friends leaving my life cake with even more drama.

    But I took this out on him. First of all on March 17th my friends convinced me of making a fake account on an app to text him a random number pretending it was a girl. So I stupidly did and he offered her his Snapchat. Drunk me at the time broke up that night and sent mean texts the next day. Anyway I arrived at his house and talked with his mom awaiting him to come home.

    You have a lot of proving to do if we were to get back together. So I told him ok and we talked a little more and I left. Soon after I wished him a happy Easter and he wished me a happy Easter back small text and I texted a few days later saying hope all is well I went to our favorite place today and e said hope all is well with you too.

    Then I followed the next day with another text no response and another no response and I sent letters to his house at school and got nothing. I sent miss you texts and love you texts and got nothing. I know he will be coming home as well. My questions are do you think he is just waiting for me to come home to be able to reconnect with me.

    Why would he respond to those other texts then just cold turkey me? I pray and hope each night he will come around. Which has helped a lot too. Am I doing the right things? What more can I do? What do you think? To be honest, it sounds like he needs more time to deal with whatever has happened, and there may even be a possibility he has given up on the relationship already. His response to you on Easter was probably a courtesy reply but had no intentions of continuing the conversation further which was why he stopped replying the next day.

    If you really want to win him back, you're probably going to have to give him more time before trying again to reach out to him but if he still does not respond positively then, it would be a better idea to move on. I've been dating a guy for about a year. We share many things in common, including values and hometown, we spent time with each other's kids and families and had fun in the time we were together.

    We genuinely care about each other, never played games. Does it really exist? Air Force Photography Cover Video 0: According to Winter, figuring out if you're actually ready to date doesn't depend on a specific timeline. Television Distribution Instead, it's best to try and give yourself as long as it takes to come to terms with whatever residual feelings positive and negative you have about your ex.

    You don't need to totally forget about your ex in order to achieve this vulnerability. But according to Sherman, a person who is ready to date and start a new relationship knows how to think critically about the relationship that has ended. You can tell that that you've begun to move on if you're actually looking forward to going on dates.

    That said, there's a difference between being genuinely excited to meet someone new and feeling a need to go out with people just because you want something to distract you from your ex.