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- Relationship Red Flags You Should Always Ignore, According to Reddit Users
- 20 Men Of Reddit Reveal The Most Intimidating Thing A Girl Can Do In A Relationship
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We all spend so much time wondering about whether we're doing the right thing in a dating situation or are even the kind of girl that someone wants to date, but what do guys really think about all of this? Thankfully for us, we've got tons of Reddit forums that teach us what real men are actually thinking, and it couldn't be more helpful. Read on to discover 20 men of Reddit who have revealed the most intimidating thing that a girl can do in a relationship. When we graduate from college or university, we usually assume that real life is going to be a lot easier than it actually is.
Suddenly we're left to our own devices and we have to find a job, pay our rent, pay the bills, and figure out how to cook.
It's a lot to deal with and can make us long for the days when all we had to do was some homework and then we were free to spend the rest of our time with our best friends. Eventually, we figure it out and get our stuff together, but do guys want to date a girl who has a good job and who has some life goals and is following her dreams? As it turns out, yes, it can be intimidating for some guys. As this guy shared on Reddit , some guys get insecure about dating a girl who seems to be doing better in life than they are. They wonder if she would even want to date them and if she would judge them.
No doubt about it, sharing our emotions with our boyfriend is an important part of being in a relationship. We might even consider it the most important part. When we think about it, if we can't talk about how we feel, whether we're telling our partner how much he means to us or venting after a long day, then it's kind of weird. It doesn't seem like we should be together and we don't seem like the best fit for each other. Guys have a reputation for not wanting to talk about feelings and we might wonder if they find that totally intimidating. As this guy said on Reddit , falling for a girl and having true feelings for her is intimidating.
No one wants to enter a relationship assuming that it'll fail and we'll be single once again, and it's always worth being with someone and taking the risk. But it makes sense that some guys worry about opening up their hearts and having them broken and they might not even want to begin a relationship with someone because of that. Being single doesn't mean that we have boring lives and nothing to do.
It can definitely mean the total opposite. Maybe we do enjoy hanging out at home a lot and watching TV or movies, but we have friendships that we keep up, we have families, and we have careers. We also have hobbies and interests and are cool, interesting people. We don't happen to have a boyfriend right now, but who cares?!
We can still be happy and have fun. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but basically, you might be coming off as too self-sufficient. We might wonder if having a full life and being independent intimidates guys. This might be something that is particularly on our minds if we go on date after date and don't seem to be getting anywhere. And we know that we're pretty awesome, so it can't be us. Well, as this guy's Reddit post tells us, some guys wonder if we're too busy or have too much going on to be able to really date them.
The thing is that might be true for some women who don't even want a boyfriend, but others want to find love and would absolutely change up their schedules for the right guy. By now we might be sick and tired of hearing that guys don't want to commit. We might not really believe this since even if we're single, we might have guy friends with girlfriends or best friends with boyfriends or a brother who is married. Basically, we definitely know guys who are in committed relationships. Do guys find women who want commitment intimidating? We would hate for the answer to be yes because that's just plain depressing, but according to this guy's Reddit post, that seems to be the case for at least him.
And if he feels that way, it seems safe to assume that other guys share his feelings. Some guys just seem to be afraid of being someone's boyfriend. Maybe they don't want the responsibility, or they wonder if they can handle it, or they want to focus on other things. They might be thinking too far ahead and figuring that being a boyfriend means being only a short time away from being a husband and they don't know if they're ready for marriage.
We can probably all agree that this involves way too much overthinking, but both guys and girls tend to do that when it comes to dating. Sometimes it's impossible not to judge someone. Even if we want to be the nicest people ever, we can't help but make comparisons and judgment calls.
It might not be that sweet to think that a friend's new haircut isn't the most flattering thing ever, just like it's not nice to look down on someone for having a certain job. But if a friend does something cruel to another friend, we can absolutely judge them and think that was the wrong choice to make. So why would guys be intimidated by a woman?
Could it have something to do with her being judgemental but the bad kind? Some are intimidating because they're demeaning and judgmental, others are confident and secure with who they are. The former is bad, the latter is good. Well, at least this guy's Reddit post tells us that sometimes being intimidating can be a positive thing. If a woman is confident, then that's intimidating but it doesn't seem like it would scare him away or make him not want to date her.
If she's mean and judges people, that would still be intimidating but he wouldn't be interested, and, well, we can agree that's not great. Even though we might think that tall girls and shorter girls have nothing in common since those are two different things, they both might worry if they're, well, too tall or too short. And they'll probably hear about it from other kids when they're growing up and in school or maybe from people that they're dating, which definitely sucks. People should be a lot nicer. Being confident in her looks, knows she turns heads but it is silent about it; assertive in a way.
I like the brunette-serious eyebrows and glasses kind of look. This guy's Reddit post tells us that some guys are intimidated by tall girls, which we might not think makes that much sense. We can't do much about how tall or short we are okay, we can't do anything , so this seems kind of unfair.
But we can't win them all and impress everyone. Not every guy is going to like us and thinks that we're girlfriend material, just like not every guy will be boyfriend material in our eyes, and that's okay. Do we find handsome men intimidating? Most of us would say of course. After all, if we met a movie star like Ryan Gosling or George Clooney, aka famous actors that most women consider to be super hot, we might forget our own names and not know what to say.
It's a totally normal experience. If we meet a cute guy at a party, we might have trouble talking to him at first, at least until we get to know him a bit better and feel more comfortable. This guy's Reddit post proves that he finds good-looking girls to be intimidating. We might have met a lot of guys and found that nothing was happening and didn't know why, and maybe they were intimidated by the way that we look. Sure, that might sound kind of conceited, but it doesn't have to be like that. We should definitely have high self-esteem and feel good about ourselves.
It would be awesome if guys realized that not every pretty girl is mean, but Hollywood does tend to perpetuate that idea sometimes, so we do kind of understand. Just like hot guys can be really mean, so can hot girls, but they can also be total sweethearts. Confidence is one of those things that we either have or we don't. We can fake it up until a certain point. We can go on a few dates with a guy and pretend to be super cool and chill and have high self-esteem We might wonder how he could possibly want us to be his girlfriend when he seems so perfect and we're just not.
That's totally the wrong way to go because having confidence is a really important thing, not only in dating but in life in general. We deserve to like ourselves and there's nothing wrong with that. But if they're cocky and confident. Do guys get intimidated by girls who have lots of confidence?
We might have thought that the answer was probably yes, and now that we've seen this guy's Reddit post, we know that is absolutely true. If we're not confident, we might get intimidated by confident guys, so really, this works both ways and we can all relate to this feeling. We might only think about dating from our perspective, and yet dating as a guy must be tough. Guys are supposed to "make the first move" and always be confident and have no emotions.
We tend not to think that they want to be in a serious, committed, long-term relationship and we make all of these assumptions about them. Maybe some guys are intimidated by the dating scene in general, and that's the case for this guy, at least according to his Reddit post. For example, feeling the pressure to make all the moves and make them perfectly, not being able to be yourself, knowing that she holds all the cards, stuff like that. It would be awesome if more girls would ask guys out and if we could stop believing in these "social conventions of dating" and "gender roles" that this guy points out.
That stuff can definitely be intimidating and, honestly, we feel that way, too. Money and intelligence seem to be a big part of relationships. If we're smart people and of course we are , then we want an equally intelligent boyfriend. OkCupid has such a massive user base with such a wide variety of people, there's no way you're not gonna find a ton of people who find you exactly their type.
The app has that standard swiping app feel but less "I'm judging you solely on your face" vibes. You see one profile at a time and swipe right or left depending on whether or not you're interested, with random profile-building questions thrown in at times to narrow down your pickings even more. If you want more freedom to peruse the dating pool, the discover section is also available like it is on the desktop version.
See what potential matches are talking about, search for names, or even type in a hobby, musical artist, or show to see which users near you mentioned the same thing. It's chill and simple enough to do while you're waiting in line at the store or sitting on the train, all while feeling more sincere than Tinder. OkCupid recently removed open messaging, meaning randoms can no longer message you before you two have matched. This can be good or bad depending on how you prefer the conversation to start: I personally enjoy it, as one main problem with online dating in general is that ladies get harassed by men who flood their inboxes.
It's genuinely overwhelming and I'd prefer to only be messaged by people I already gave the go-ahead to. Bumble tried to combat this by only letting women message first. Like me, some people were stoked on this. Reddit user reciphered writes:. I send fewer messages and I receive higher quality responses. I believe this is all because of the requirement to match before messaging. Now women are required to seek out desirable profiles in order to interact with users on the site - just like the men. I also really like how doubletake has shown me interesting profiles that I wouldn't have found with browsing.
The only downside is the low population compared to Tinder. I assumed that only annoyingly persistent men would dislike this change, but according to Reddit, a lot of ladies also aren't feeling it either:.
I either have to "like" people fairly indiscriminately to leave myself open to conversation, or I have to close doors on potential conversation that could be worthwhile. I was doing just fine having the block feature, or simply not responding to people who weren't worth my time. Luckily, OkCupid's DoubleTake profile allows you to see a good amount of info on a person before you swipe, so you're not about to match with people blindly more on that later.
If the closed messaging is the most annoying thing on the site, that's pretty good. If you're not getting the attention and messages you think you deserve, there's an option to boost your profile to get you a full day's worth of activity in just 15 minutes. The Reddit community is actually huge on OkCupid, and while all dating sites receive their fair share of shit Redditors do not hold back on giving their opinions , I genuinely feel like OkCupid has the most nice things said about it. Or the least mean things. This blog even put together a guide on OkCupid advice that Redditors have given over the past few years.
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- 15 Irrational Fears All Guys Have In Relationships (According To Reddit).
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- 20 Men Of Reddit Reveal The Most Intimidating Thing A Girl Can Do In A Relationship.
The site is basically fully functional with the free membership, and we give them props for that. Most dating sites make you pay to do literally anything besides signing up. However, if you're feeling ambitious and want a little feature upgrade, OkCupid does offer two paid memberships: Those prices won't set you back nearly as much as another site would, and I like that you're able to test out the site for free before deciding to go all in.
You'll have to subscribe to the A-List for more in-depth features, but the fee isn't steep at all. One bomb free feature is Double Take. Released in , Double Take acts as a kind of insurance. It uses what you filled out in your "Looking for" section and tries to send you new people that they think match up with your ideal boo. It's a clutch way to discover profiles you wouldn't have found just by browsing, and it gives more info and more pictures than regular matches show to give you an extra deep look into what they have to offer. On the other hand, paying for an account can get rid of ads, allow you to see people who have liked you before you like them, see read receipts, get automatic boosts, and more.
This is the place for pretty much everyone who takes dating seriously, but still wants to have fun. Though OkCupid's advertisements may have "DTF" plastered all over them, the site's intentions and matchmaking process are no joke. It might take some time and genuine effort to make a profile, but that's what you want if you're looking for something real. You'll fill out a questionnaire with your answers as well as what you would like your ideal match to answer. This makes the application-building process a lot more fun than other apps, making it feel like an online quiz.
It asks a range of questions, from simple stuff to whether you smoke and drink to more intimate things like how many dates you typically wait before sleeping with someone. The app says that the more questions you answer, the better your matches will be.
The deeper you go, the more accurate your profile is. In turn, OkCupid will have a way easier time finding matches for you. Like we said in our eharmony review , just because you're bored with Tinder doesn't mean eharmony or a site with the same expectation to settle down is the next step. A lot of those users are older, divorced, and have kids, and there's a much slimmer selection of young people in that gray area. OkCupid seems ideal for the person who's trying to marry the next person they date, even if they idea of marriage and kids makes them slightly nauseated.
The LGBTQ community finally has a safe space in the online dating world that is, one that's not a super niche lesbian or gay-only app , and those who usually vote liberally can make sure they're not going on a date with someone whom they'd want to fight on Facebook. Get with the times, people. OkCupid also has a sick blog where they discuss social issues, success stories, local events, showcase statistics from their users, and more.
Relationship Red Flags You Should Always Ignore, According to Reddit Users
Someone I have to prove my worth towards. This particular Reddit post tells us that it can definitely be intimidating. This guy's statement that he's intimidated by a woman he has to "prove his worth towards" makes sense We can't just commit to anyone, we have to know that they care about us and are going to treat us well.
It's really good if girls act that way. Do guys ever think that a girl seems kind of cold? Would that be intimidating, and would they still want to date her, or would they be all, "No thanks"? Have any of us been told by guys that we couldn't be their girlfriend because we're cold or unemotional? I get that some people aren't going to always be the life of the party. But some just have this constant searing look of disdain on their face. This guy posted on Reddit that he's not into dating a girl who seems "cold" and that would seem intimidating, so yes, that's definitely our answer.
This is a good reminder that even if we think that we look normal and friendly, maybe we don't, and maybe a guy that might otherwise want to ask us out or want to be in a relationship with us assumes that we don't like him or that we're always in a bad mood. When we like someone and want to start a relationship with them, we have to assume that they would like us back. We don't have to be super conceited and, of course, we probably shouldn't be since there is nothing less attractive than that but we need to believe that we could be attractive and interesting to someone else.
And we should also believe that we would make a good girlfriend. But that being said, we definitely assume that some guys are "too good for us" and that they would never be interested in dating us, and so it would make sense that some guys would like at us that way. Do guys think that some girls are just not going to want to date them? Would they find that intimidating? This guy's Reddit post shows that if a girl seems to be out of his league, she's both gorgeous and full of confidence, and he finds that intimidating.
We always hear that if you want to be attractive to someone else, you have to be confident, so it's a bit disheartening to know that some guys might find that tough to deal with. But, hey, that just means that we need to wait for someone who won't find that intimidating and who will love how self-assured we are. Most of us would say that we're not really all that interested in dating an unemployed guy. Sure, a good guy might be out of work for various reasons and it's not always someone's fault, and of course, we could start dating him and he finds employment ASAP.
But that's not usually the case and sometimes, a guy without a job doesn't have a great work ethic and he seems pretty undesirable. We would assume that guys would like if we had a really good job and had figured out what kind of career path we wanted to go down Being a highly paid professional is like my only real advantage.
As this guy said on Reddit , he doesn't want to date a girl who has a good job and gets paid a lot. As he put it, that's something that he has, and he figures that's his most attractive quality. It's a real shame to hear that, don't we think?! It's amazing to have a good job and we should never feel bad about that, but that just means that if a guy is intimidated by our career, he's not the right one for us. Some girls act like the mom of their friend group or even toward their coworkers. They bring in treats and ask people if they ate lunch and want to be a support system.
It's sweet and cute and generally considered to be a good thing. It's not usually considered to be a good thing if a girl mothers her boyfriend or husband.
20 Men Of Reddit Reveal The Most Intimidating Thing A Girl Can Do In A Relationship
Sure, couples should take care of each other but it should totally go both ways and be an equal thing. If a guy wants his girlfriend to act like his mom, it's safe to say that he might have some things to work out. Maybe he's never really taken the time and made the effort to grow up and maybe he expects others to always do things for him We might not think that guys would think that a motherly girl would be intimidating, but according to someone on Reddit , it can be.
It's tough to know why this would be a problem, but maybe some people want to be independent and don't want someone to take care of them and make sure that they're happy and doing well. Being a successful single girl is obviously an amazing thing, just like success, in general, is something to be proud of, and yet it can also make it hard to find a guy who isn't totally intimidated. The funny thing about being in this situation is that we're exactly the type of girl that would be attractive. We're confident, we're doing well, we can take care of ourselves, and we have our own lives.
We've got it all going on, basically. They don't really need you and that's scary. As this guy put it in his Reddit post, he doesn't think that women who can take care of themselves need a guy, and he's more likely to find that to be a negative thing than a positive one. This has probably happened to us at least once. All we can do is believe that the right guy is out there and he won't be worried about this at all. He'll love all of these qualities. It just sucks waiting to meet someone who doesn't find us intimidating just because we're independent and confident.
Sometimes we meet a guy and we can't quite put our finger on why we might not want to date him. He could be perfectly nice and fine and boyfriend material, at least in the eyes of someone else, but it's just not going to work for us. If a friend asked us why we didn't like him or want to be his girlfriend, we might say "it's everything" and that we don't have a specific reason.
I still have a hard time believing any woman could be interested in me. According to this guy's Reddit post, he sometimes gets intimidated by "everything" about a girl. He also mentioned that he gets insecure about a girl liking him, which definitely makes us want to tell him that there will be a girl who will be into him and he doesn't have to worry about that.
If we've ever been in a situation where we wondered why a guy didn't want to commit to us when we knew that we've got a good job and work ethic and are interesting and everything like that, it could be that he just finds us generally intimidating. It sucks, but this is definitely going to happen. Most of us would agree that it's awesome to get into a fitness routine and live a healthy lifestyle. Whether yoga or barre or Crossfit or running is our jam, we're happy and healthy and it's pretty awesome. If we add career success on top of that, we're basically living our best lives and should be so proud of ourselves.
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But is that a bad thing for our love life? If we've wondered if some guys are intimidated by how well we're doing, we might have thought that made us sound kind of full of ourselves. It's actually a thing, though, at least according to this guy's post on Reddit. I don't resent any of it, good for her, I just tell myself that she could never be interested in me with all that entails , so why bother? It's a shame that some guys think that if a girl is fit and doing well in her life, that automatically means that she wouldn't like him and want to date him. After all, sometimes opposites do attract.
We can still date someone even if we're not at the same place career-wise -- couples inspire and support one another, and one person can really help the other one reach their full potential. There's really nothing to be intimidated about. Unique lists featuring pop culture, entertainment and crazy facts. Covering the hottest movie and TV topics that fans want.