- So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal - HelloGiggles
- So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal
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- Possible that my recent ex is sleeping with a mutual friend, or is it all in my head?
I felt like a prize fighter being asked to fight while tied to a chair. There was absolutely nothing that I could do, and that could be done. No talking about it or discussing it, no change or compromise, no working it out. It was never an option. He was done and that's all there is too it and no matter how hard I was willing to fight for it, it wouldn't change a thing.
Didn't feel fair at all to me. This was about two months ago, and I've just been painfully numb over it since it happened. It just hasn't felt real to me, and as such hasn't really hit me yet to take that pain to level A dwindling part of me has just been hoping that we'll get back together. You see, two close mutual friends of ours went through the exact same situation. Years of dating, living together, broke up, moved out. Then six months later with time apart to think they realized how much they truly loved each other, got back together, and are now engaged, with their marriage taking place in two months.
Seeing that within our own circle of friends I've been kind of holding out hope for something similar. I can't afford to move out, so we've just become roommates at this point. It's a bit awkward at times, but we still maintain a fairly decent relationship. It's not an optimal situation, but there isn't much I can do about it until I get another job. In the mean time I'm just living off the savings we were going to use to buy a house before I lost my last job. For years our group of friends has been doing a weekly pen and paper game on weekends.
I've never participated, but I always went with my boyfriend, one to spend time with him, and two to be able to spend time with our friends. One of our friends came into an inheritance recently, and used it to buy a house. As such she has been hosting the group at her new home for the last few months. Around the time of our breakup, he told me that I shouldn't go with him to the game nights anymore because having someone there that isn't actually playing could serve as a distraction.
I understood his point and relented, even though I still wanted to spend time with our friends. For the last two weekends he's left on Saturday to go to her place, when the games are normally on Sunday. When asked why, he said he wanted to hang out, plan the gaming stuff in advance, and just have fun. Then crash out and be able to wake up and be ready for gaming without having to go anywhere the next day. Last weekend I started seeing tweets by our friends from Disneyland.
So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal - HelloGiggles
When he got home I asked him about it, and he mentioned that one of our friends got an entire batch of free passes for our whole group of friends. When I asked why he didn't say anything to me, cause I was just sitting alone all weekend, he said that he simply didn't think of it. A couple nights ago he and the same game hosting friend went to the movies together while I was at a game industry function that I would be home late from. When I got home there was a bottle of lube randomly in the shower, and my towel not his was hanging over the curtain rod.
So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal
He said that she just dropped him off at the door and didn't even come inside that night. I didn't ask about the lube and towel. Today he left a day early for gaming once again, once again saying he wanted to hang out, have fun, and plan gaming stuff in advance.
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An hour or two after he left the best friend of the hosting girl tweeted something along the lines of, "Oh great, I hear loud sex and make-out noises coming from the bedroom. This is about the time when all the pieces started falling together in my mind and my heart got hit by a freight train of NOPE! Now, I'm not claiming rights or ownership of my ex, we are not together anymore, and it is not my privilege. I'm just wondering if I'm just too close to the situation and my grief and paranoia is making me see things, or if he very well may be being duplicitous and dishonest to me about something that may be going on between them.
If this was what was going on and he just talked to me, it would still be painful, but I'd respect and be able to accept it. It wouldn't be as horrible as figuring it out on your own, compounded with the lies and sneaking around. Is this possibly what's happening, or is my grief roasted mind just making way to many connections where they shouldn't be? A little humor at my expense. After all this I decided to go read some webcomics to make myself feel better. I go on the PBF site and hit the random button, and this was the first result that I got.
Let me go find a rope. You win this time PBF. Seguer Registered User regular. Your suspicions sound likely It sucks It's no longer your business, unless they interrupt you as roommates the towel thing I'd consider fairly minor It sounds like your group of friends are "siding" with him how often do you hang out with that group now?
It sucks He seems to be handling things as non-douche-like as possible - he doesn't really have to tell you whether or not he's "doing" anything with the mutual friend, he's not waving it in your face as best as he can , and he broke up hopefully before it turned into a "my bf cheated on me with a mutual friend" It sucks.
MrTLicious Registered User regular.
You are laying out the case of why you think they're sleeping together. Given that this is all the information we have, that's the most likely conclusion that we the readers are going to come to. But my pals were there for me and got me through it all. I met my ex for coffee a few weeks ago, and we have a good chat about this and that.
I don't discuss his relationship or bring it up in conversation. He understands the hurt I felt at the start and he was very considerate in the manner that he told me. As it stand now. I don't think about them that much. I am not crying into my cornflakes or anything As long as my ex and I can remain the good friends that we are, then I am happy.
I suppose I started this thread to how the rest of you would have handled the situation. Its a tough situation, and everyone would probably react differently. I like to think id give them both my blessing and get on with things but i suppose you have to be in your shoes to really appreciate it from your perspective.
It sounds like your more annoyed that your friend broke some sort of rule you have regarding going out with your ex. Maybe he should have given you a heads up before it happened, but i suppose your all big boys and in the real world these 'rules' dont count for much. How would I handle it? No matter what I wouldn't let them know my feelings and even if I thought it was dreadful I would pretend I thought it was great but that's just me and it doesn't make it right or wrong we each have to find our own ways of dealing with these situations.
Got it in one My ex and I were good pals for a while with this guy, and now the tables have turned a little. I am not sure if I am quite ready to give them my blessing just yet. If I were to see them in the same bar on a night out, I would probably have to leave. I have often thought of dropping him a text or chat on Facebook to maybe clear the air a little.
Possible that my recent ex is sleeping with a mutual friend, or is it all in my head?
It would give me the chance to get some things off my chest. I know these things happen but I would be raging if a significant ex and a friend got together, I think I would just cut them out until I felt a bit better about it. I know we are all supposed to be mature adults around stuff like this but in reality it would still make you feel shit!
Friends have told me that I did act quite mature about it all. I suppose when you break up with someone, you have to prepare yourself for them meeting someone else. I was preparing myself for that. If my ex's new boyfriend was a complete stranger, then I would never have to meet him.
My current frame of mind is that I am happy, single, and in no rush to meet anyone for a relationship right now. That will happen in time, and I suppose when I least expect it. You can be happy for them but that doesn't mean they need to be in your life. Its understandable that you don't see so much of your friend now. It sounds like he is perhaps afraid to face me or something He isn't a bad guy at all. I do consider him abit sneaaky though to do this, but it is all water under the bridge now as far as I am concerned.
I have done my grieving for the relationship ending. I am moving on. Recent Message Board Topics. Buying Stuff On Amazon. Prev 1 2 3 Next.