Dating someone with gambling addiction

Understanding a Gambling Compulsion
  1. Top 10 signs of gambling addiction
  2. Top 10 signs of gambling addiction
  3. Help for hard workers?
  4. Getting into a relationship with a recovering compulsive gambler

The earlier the process is identified, the better the chances for a successful recovery.

Top 10 signs of gambling addiction

Although compulsive gambling is hard to overcome, many people are able to manage their illness with professional help. A gambling compulsion can begin the first time someone places a bet, or it could gradually progress into an addiction over time. According to the Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling, how long it takes someone to develop a problem varies by the individual, though compulsions tend develop more quickly in people who engage in continuous forms of gambling, such as online betting or using slot machines.

Some gamblers find themselves showing symptoms of a compulsion in less than a year when doing this type of gambling. Many factors could contribute to the problem, such as hereditary or environmental factors. Diagnosing a gambling problem involves looking for signs someone is out of control. Possible signs of a gambling problem include:. Although compulsive gamblers often share the trait of low self-esteem, two main types of compulsive gamblers are common: Recognizing a compulsive gambler is easier if you know the characteristics of each type.

An action gambler is someone who likes to play games involving skill and beating the odds. Poker is an example of an action game. These types of gamblers are often extroverted, self-confident and even arrogant.

An escape gambler views gambling as a form of escapism, seeing it as a distraction from real life. These gamblers can appear withdrawn, unhappy or introverted. According to the Mayo Clinic, signs indicate compulsive gamblers approach gambling as a means to escape problems or feelings, such as depression , guilt or helplessness. Some other ways to recognize a compulsive gambler include looking for signs of:. If you suspect someone you know has a gambling problem, ways to help are available; however, the most important thing you can do is to encourage them to get help from a professional.

We can assist you in finding help for a loved if you call. Although it can be challenging to confront someone about a gambling problem, the best thing you can do is to start by asking someone if the problem exists, according to the Victoria State Government.

Top 10 signs of gambling addiction

When talking to someone with a gambling problem, remember that if you want someone to be honest with you, be honest yourself. Letting someone know you suspect a problem and are worried, in a supportive and concerned manner, is more likely to work than being deceptive, judgmental or aggressive. Some people with gambling problems will be relieved and grateful the subject was broached, as they want to talk about it. If a person lies about having a problem, you can still say you care about your loved one and give them information on where to get help.

If a discussion about gambling becomes circular or confrontational, take a break and pick up the subject later. Always keep the lines of communication open. Adolescents and teens are at risk for developing a gambling problem. Compulsive gambling generally starts when someone is in their late teens. Occasionally, people even become addicted the first time they gamble. Teens can gamble casually, but times of stress or depression might trigger overwhelming gambling urges. Learning to cope with a gambling addiction can be challenging because at one time gambling might not have been an addiction for you.

Gambling is also everywhere, readily available to suck you back in.

Help for hard workers?

Having a sponsor or designated person to help you resist the desire to gamble again might be particularly useful. Some things you can tell yourself to avoid a relapse and stay focused on recovery include:. You can make it easier on yourself to live with a gambling addiction if you identify your gambling triggers and stay away from them. You have to be comfortable and accepting that this will most likely happen, be sure in your mind that you can 'put up' with this.

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She has every right not to trust you. Over time, you will regain some of this trust, but I doubt whether she will ever fully trust in this regard. Be open, honest and willing to work on your addiction. Help is always available with GA,this forum, etc. It can be hard when as an addicted gambler whom is doing their best to stop and actually so far achieving it 76 days so far.

Its a weird thing but gives you control rather than resentment that they may not trust you when you are succeeding. It is a inconvenience yes I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to respond to my post, it was the first issue that persuaded me to contact gamcare directly rather than just posting on the forum and they've offered some suggestions also.

If i'm brutally honest ODAAT I don't think i've quite reached the stage that I never think i'll gamble again which is why i probably perceive that slips are inevitable. I reached a stage where enough was enough, an opportunity for a real and fulfilling life came along and since then i've done everything to grab that opportunity. Thats not to say that i am planning to gamble in the future but it's an unresolved issue in my mind that i hope sorts itself out as i progress through my recovery.

Half-Life i think you are right about limiting the joint connections and i would be happy to offer full and open access to all my accounts and credit information. One of the majorly upsetting things in my life to date is that the gambling has taken home ownership out of the equation for me for a long time so i would want to find a way that we can still do that even if that's a case of me just paying in separately sorry i don't know how it works! I understand what i've done in the past and how i've hurt myself but in her i've been nothing but open and honest, i have never hurt her or broken any element of her trust so if i got that level of scrutiny at the outset then it would really upset me.

I do appreciate your best wishes though so thank you. Actual control of money is quite a strange one, i've never really had any money for so long i can't remember what it's like, i'll definitely look for help with this whether its putting savings into accounts with delayed access or shared accounts with just my money etc its a good plan. At the moment she is not as concerned as i am about this topic, this may be due to a lack of understanding of how bad its been, an unwillingness to accept that i'm damaged goods or a general fear and loathing of addiction which has run in her family.

As a result of all of this and your helpful suggestions above i'm going to propose the following: I guess the next issue would be having a process in place to deal with slip-ups and i don't know where to start with that. It needs to be rigid enough to act as an added deterrent to not gamble but it has to be flexible enough that if i did i wouldn't fear being honest about it.

I will give this some real thought and come back with some ideas, again i'd appreciate on your thoughts about how to manage a slip up both emotionally and in terms of practicalities.

What to Say to a Spouse with a Gambling Problem

Thanks again and despite any negative sounding sentiments i've managed another weekend without and i have no reason to think that it will change After re-reading your initial post again, I realise that I have treated your situation as though you had been with this lady during your gambling days. So, upon reflection I think I went too hard on the trust issue. I now think that as long as you don't have any major slip-ups that the trust issue will be a minor issue for you.

As you said, you have been totally honest with her, so I wish you a very happy future together. It's excellent your taking the issue seriously I have wrote posts on the mess up scenarios if you look at my archives Honesty is best policy The only thought I am having here is how on earth you get across the potential seriousness of the situation.

I think if I loved someone, who had always been honest and loving towards me, hadnt hurt me beyond the usual things like when mr p said how much he hated our old curtains, which he didnt know my late mum had made for me , you know, someone has been lovely and I love him It's not that i wouldnt believe he's a CG, I'd just think it was in the past and put my blinkers on and trot into the future.

That's what love does to us.

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You are going to have to hold your own reins here or get someone else on side who will help you, a GA friend maybe, a mentor perhaps? Someone who actually will question promptly when you ring alarm bells. This raises so many questions, but overwhelmingly the answers point towards the positive benefits of being in a loving relationship and I am very happy for you, it really does make me happy to read of a CGs life being happy, it gives me confidece in my own.

Well i have directed her to this post and she has read it and we will talk about it in time, there is nothing pressing to have that discussion today and it just comforts me that this is here.

Getting into a relationship with a recovering compulsive gambler

I would agree that numbers and amounts relating to gambling will certainly drive home the severity of the addiction. So with that in mind and with a healthy dose of shame Having said this and in the mood of confessing, i still haven't permanently self excluded from this account and i don't know why. I think its a mixture of anger that i was able to gamble on that level on an account that i'd previously self excluded from and wanting some form of revenge to the thought process that one day maybe my attitude to gambling will have changed substantially enough to be able to use it for entertainment purposes.

Thinking that sentiment through though, the best way to get revenge is to stop any potential to give them my money and if i do ever recover in a way which permits recreational gaming then i'm sure there will be other outlets for this by then. These were the only remaining sites which i consciously know i have an account with which i hadn't already self-excluded from. There may be others but i don't know where they are - Update I forgot Leo Vegas which i've also just permanently self-excluded from The only other thing on my radar which i'm not yet ready to close down is an offer from a las vegas casino host for accomodation, food and beverage and a substantial amount of freeplay.

The plus side of this is that it's not a decision i can make on a whim really. So yeah, thats absolutely everything all out in the open Thanks again for your words Pangolin, Wayne and Wal, i don't know what is ahead but if i approach it with honesty and openness then i've given myself every chance to succeed and your words have certainly helped me in that. I think there are strong benefits from feeling the love but i have to be clear that i'm doing this for myself first and foremost.

I know that if i fix me then i'm more likely to continue being able to feel the love in future. You have got that in a nutshell. A lot of recovering gamblers find it hard to understand why you, the gambler should come first, so I am pleased that you have got that message so quickly. I have bad experience with blockers and blocking software because they are usually quite expensive, there's normally a way to get round them if you really wanted to and with the sheer number of devices and different avenues to gamble i don't really see a purpose in them especially if i've now canned all of the accounts and specifically the one account which held such a power over me.